Dental Hygene
by Lawnmower Bubbles
Summary: Because I have a maturity level of two years old, this is my interpretation of the movie.


Note: I just watched the movie and thought this. I apologize early in advance for my immaturity. @.@ I would really like some reviews, though! ^_^  
  
Disclaimer: (Do people even read these things any way?) I don't own anything. Nothing is mine. Nothing it is that belongs to me. I am currently in possession of nothing in this story. Ownership I do not have. Zilch is what I own. I'm just a lowly fangirl writing this out of boredom/insanity. Have I made my point?  
  
~~~~~~  
  
It was dark and Gimli, Aragorn, and Legolas were gathered around a warm fire. They all sat silently, enjoying the comfort of each other's presence. The land around them was hollow and smoggy, their senses dampened because of the current environment.  
  
"Nice night is it not?" Aragorn spoke to no one in particular.  
  
"Yes, I agree. But it is quite foggy. We should probably be on the lookout. " Legolas answered the question.  
  
Gimli shook his head and chuckled in an arrogant manner, "No need, elf. These here are safe lands, not a single orc for miles." He sat back with a smug look on his face.  
  
Suddenly an orc surprise attacked behind Legolas. He could feel its bad breath against his neck. The orc put him in a headlock and forced a sword against his throat.  
  
"GRRRRRRRR," Legolas growled. He was fed up. Too many times had he to put up with this. Aragorn and Gimli looked at him surprised. Not many times had they seen him openly express anger like this. They were also afraid among many things for Legolas' safety but they knew that with his experience and elfish reflexes he could easily get out of the orcs hold.  
  
Aragorn drew his sword. The orc tightened the sword against Legolas' throat, "Ye best not be movin', or the pretty boy here gets his throat cut off," the orc said, in a rough, hoarse voice.  
  
Aragorn stepped back. Gimli who was looking on the ground for his axe stood up.  
  
Before the both of them had any chance to act, Legolas took control of the sword and back fisted the orc. "ENOUGH!!!" he said. Aragorn and Gemli wondered as to why he got so angry. It was just a little orc.  
  
Legolas strangled the orc with one hand and held a toothbrush in the other. Why could he possibly have a toothbrush? Neither of them had used one in a considerable amount of time. Nonetheless, Legolas was angry. Period.  
  
"JUST BECAUSE I HAVE AN ADAQUATE SENSE IN DENTAL HYGENE DOES NOT MEAN THAT I AM A PRETTY BOY!!!!!!" He screamed at the top of his lungs. He forced the brush into the orcs mouth and started to brush in a consistent motion.  
  
"Me thinks the elf has lost it." Gimli muttered underneath his breath. Aragorn nodded his head in agreement.  
  
"God, this has been bugging me the entire two movies!" he brushed the orc's teeth violently. "Would it hurt just to brush your teeth every once and a while? It's so bloody annoying!!" Legolas kept ranting.  
  
"And you!" he pointed to Aragorn getting uncomfortably too close for comfort. "Have you ever at least washed, no, brushed your hair? It's so greasy." Legolas' usually elegant voice was dropping. He took out a canteen of water and a bottle with a lightly colored liquid in it. He closed in on Aragorn like a hunter on its prey.  
  
"Ahhhhhh!" Aragorn screamed. Legolas glomped him from behind and poured the water into his hair. He rubbed the substance into his hair and started scrubbing.  
  
"Rinse, lather and repeat, it's that simple!" he kept on scrubbing.  
  
Two hours later...  
  
Aragorn was tied to a rock as Legolas finished brushing his hair. He looked at his hair. It was shiny and smooth and had several braids running through it. He reminded himself not to mess with Legolas whenever he was in one of these moods.  
  
He looked around for Gimli. Probably cowering behind a tree somewhere. Legolas released Aragorn and he abruptly took to hiding behind a tree until Legolas' cleaning frenzy was over. Legolas once again had an evil grin on his face.  
  
"Now where could the Dwarf have run off to?" He said in a menacing tone. A couple minutes later he had found him and was chasing him through the trees.  
  
"I'm not even going to start with you. I highly doubt that you have ever touched a bar of soap in your life! Come here!" Legolas chased after Gimli, quickly catching up with him on account of Gimlis small legs.  
  
"I shall catch you, you filthy dwarf!" Legolas said. Aragorn stared intently behind a tree, watching what was going on. Although he was afraid, it was refreshing to see Legolas riled up about something so greatly. It made him seem, well, more human, even though he wasn't. As Legolas caught Gimli and strangled him he quickly fell asleep out of exhaustion.  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
Aragorn woke up on the ground. It was early and the sun was rising. He looked around. What happened? He looked at the bows in Gimlis hair and Beard. Oh yeah. He chuckled lightly. He woke up Legalas who was sleeping beside him. He merely mumbled and turned over. The cleaning probably took a lot out of him.  
  
He stood up and moved several feet away as to where Gimli was and kicked him. He sat up drowsily, mumbling to himself, "I had a very strange dream," he started before he looked and examined his beard. "Ahhhhhh!" he floundered his arms helplessly.  
  
Legolas was quickly awake and laughing his head off. Aragorn sat next to him and lightly chuckled.  
  
After a couple minutes, everyone composed themselves and started walking. They were to meet Gandolf a couple of miles away this afternoon and they needed to get going.  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
Gandalf welcomed them warmly to his camp. Aragorn couldn't help but notice him snickering under his breath. "It's so nice to" snicker "see" snicker "you again." He said, still chortling.  
  
"What is it!" Gimli said, losing control of his temper.  
  
"Nothing-" snicker, " it's just" snicker, " you both look so" snicker "pretty!" He exploded into laughter, "ha!" Legolas soon joined him.  
  
"Nice work," he mentioned to Legolas, bending over in laughter. "They actually look presentable."  
  
"What?!" Aragorn said, obviously offended.  
  
"There's absolutely nothing wrong with getting in touch with your feminine side" They both bellowed over in giggles.  
  
Aragorn and Gimli had the feeling they would never hear the end of this. Oh well, at least it wasn't like the time when Pippen had tried to roast marshmallows in the fires of Mordor. Now that was a painful experience...  
  
~~~~~~  
  
REVIEW PLEASE!!  
  
So what do you think of my story?  
  
A. Oh mother of cow! This was horrible! Take me back!! Take me baaaaaaaaaaaaack!  
  
B. I loved it! You are such an aspiring author. Hail to this goddess of literature!  
  
C. Does it look like I care? I got sucked into it by the title.  
  
D. **shrugs** Yeah I guess it was ok.  
  
E. You told me there was going to be free Beer! Where's my BEER!  
  
F. It would have been better with slash humor. I want slash! :(  
  
G. What story? (Easily distracted) 


End file.
